30 THINGS

I started this post on the second day of school. I wanted to write down some of my goals for the new school year. I thought since the beginning of school coincided with my 30th birthday it would be fitting.

I couldn't decide if I wanted this list to be my goals, my quirks, my hopes, the way I feel at this stage of my life, things I want to do before I die or just simply things I love so it's going to be a blended list of all of those things....

1. I'm thirty now which strangely feels a lot like being 29 or even 28, for that matter. I've been married for almost ten years. I have four kids, three beautiful girls and a darling boy. I have two dogs and a cat(not sure I'm completely thrilled about that) and we own a home, actually two, but I'll save that for later. I live in America. For the most part I'm very happy!

2. I love exercise, especially running. Not the rolling out of bed or sweating or hurting part. Well maybe a little of the hurting part but I LOVE the way I feel after I've gone running. I love the excitement of being able to do something that, physically, I didn't think I was capable of. I enjoy taking walks with my family and riding our bikes together.

3. I would love to have a garden but with 4 kids, 2 dogs, and a cat ( still not sure if I like that) I'm trying to find a "safe" place for my little garden. I want to grow vegetables...I love vegetables. I never got around to planting my garden this spring so I'm hoping that we'll have a place set aside and ready for next year.

4. I would love to go back to school. I loved school when I was growing up and would like to attend classes again someday. I believe education is very important and although I do not currently have a degree, I love to learn. I hope that my kids will share this love of learning. I hope that my children will each attend college someday and if they choose not to, I hope that they will realize that learning is not something that can only be done at college and that they can continue learning and gaining knowledge throughout their entire lives.

5. I love the taste of vitamins. I know this is weird but I actually suck on my vitamins before I swallow the pills. You can't do this with any old pill, vitamins are best. Fish oils especially. I also love the gel coating on medicines and I'll suck on that until I get to the medicine. You've got to be really careful though because the actual medicine is yucky.I've accidentally waited too long before..YUCK!!! Oh yeah, and I love the smell of protein powder. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that smell!!

6. I'm bossy... I know some of you may have a hard time believing that, but I'm VERY bossy!! I can't help it! I'm the oldest girl in my family AND I know what I want. Those two things combined make for one very bossy lady. It's not my fault. I also have a mini boss in my family who thinks she's a mini Mom. Part of me just laughs about it and part of me gets annoyed. WHY??? Cause I'M the boss.

7. Back to the house thing I mentioned earlier. I've never really talked about this on the blog and I can't get too in depth about it in person because I HAVE and I WILL start crying. Almost three years ago (yes, it's been that long) we put our little house on the market. Fearing that we might lose our home and not have a place to live in our neighborhood we bought a home two doors down. At the time there was only one other home in our neighborhood for sale and it happened to be in escrow when we decided to move. Everything fell into place and we felt very good about the decision we had made. We had many people come to look at the house and in total 5 different offers but each time something would happen and the deal would fall through. I would have to call this the hardest time in my life. There were times that I didn't know how we were going to eat. Something inside me changed during this time. I hope I haven't become a "worse" person but I definitely changed. I spent the better part of the last 2 and 1/2 years feeling punished. I'm starting to see the sun. Someday hopefully I can write more about this as therapy but I'll have to wait.

8. I am not a morning person. I will stay up all night chattin' away. Even when I was a little girl I had a hard time falling to sleep. Need someone to talk to in the wee hours of the morning? I'm your girl. I can stay up late and often do. I used to watch TV but lately I've been reading. Chances are if you needed to call someone late at night, I'd still be awake.

9. I love when people just stop by. I know some people think that's rude, but I love it. Yes, my house is usually a mess and most likely I still haven't cleaned up the breakfast dishes but I love when friends just happen to be in the neighborhood and drop in. I always want people to feel like they can come by any time and if we're here they are welcome to sit and visit.

10. I don't like cake. There are very few cakes that I enjoy. Most cakes don't even tempt me. But cookies, now that's a whole different story.

11. I try not to get caught up in comparing myself with other people and the things they have. If anything, I'm inspired by the fun things people DO rather than what they HAVE.

12. I hate drama and even more than that.. conflict. I tried that once or twice in my life (to speak my mind) and it hasn't always worked out for me so I just try to go about my business and I try not to get involved. I don't like to stir things up or muddy the waters. I don't understand people who have to get other people all riled up and under their skin. I'd just rather do my thing in peace and allow you the same thing. I have my opinions, but I won't usually share unless asked or provoked(whichever the case may be.)

13. I am a list person.

14. I try really hard to be a good friend to everyone. I made a huge mistake with a friendship once, which I am truly sorry for, but I will never make that mistake twice. I am trying to be more charitable.

15. I cry easily. You've probably seen me... more than once. I cry if other people are crying. I cry when I hear certain songs on the radio especially if they make me think of my kids or my husband. I'm crying writing this post. I cry every year at Christmas time when the radio plays Same Old Lang Syne by Dan Fogelberg. It just triggers something in me.

16. I love See's candies. I've never been very impressed by Ethel M. I love See's! My favorites are butterscotch squares and raspberry cremes.

17. I struggle with NOT struggling with my weight. If only, If only, If only.... I don't want to become obsessed with the way I look. I want to feel great in my clothes. I'm OK with how I look, not happy, but OK.

18. I get compliments on my feet more often than I should admit. I used to tell my Mom that and I don't think she believed me until one day a man followed me, my mom ,and my grandma out of a store just to tell me I had beautiful feet. I have been in McDonald's when a man asked if I was married and I said "YES" and he said, "I was just wondering because you have great feet." Who knew? All this despite the fact that I have hairy toes! I should've been a foot model. ha ha. We have a good laugh about that one.

19. When someone describes something painful or I see a wound or I hear about some kind of trauma I get this weird burning, tightening sensation in my legs and it shoots up through my stomach really quickly. It's kinda painful. So literally, I feel your pain.

20. I twitch...at least that's what Dustin tells me. When he holds my hand, I twitch.

21. I pace during intense movies. I just can't handle it, I have to get up and move around and yell at the TV.

22. I HATE orange soda. Bllecckkkk!!!

23. I hate reading instruction manuals, especially for cell phones. Just tell me how it works and I'll do it. I don't want to read about it.

24. I cherish Dustin. I know without a doubt, he's perfect for me. He has taught me so many valuable lessons without ever trying to school me. He's gentle and fun loving and he's my very best friend. I feel balanced and happy when he's with me. He never makes me feel bad. He puts up with my crabbiness. I'm lucky to have him. I KNOW this.

25. I have found three grey hairs. Which were all plucked out promptly.

26. I love babies. I want another one or two. But before any one goes and jumps to any conclusions I just want to clarify. That doesn't mean we are going to HAVE any more children. Right now it's not even an option. I always said I wanted to be done by the time I was thirty. I'm not sure I feel the same as I did when I was younger. I would love for Scott to have a brother..

27. I try to do a little good in the world each day. If nothing else I try to smile. Have I done any good in the world today?... If not I have failed indeed. So important and one of my faves.


28. I will be 36 years old when my oldest child turns 18. Do the math! I'm not worried. I am no longer ashamed.

29. I try to remind myself that there is more good in the world than bad. I don't want my children to miss out on the wonder and magic of childhood because of my fears. I know there is bad in the world, I know first hand but I try to balance that out. I want my children to be aware but not afraid. Never afraid.

30. I'm looking forward to this decade. I hope to become a better person. A more helpful person, A more thoughtful and giving person. A more charitable person. A better "30 something"... ME.